This is a transcript of an episode of Aquarian Diary I published on April 12, 2023.
The full episode title is:
The Spiritual Seeker
Welcome to Aquarian Diary.
I’m your host, John Irving.
It is April 12th, 2023.
Many people who are fairly far along the Spiritual path experience quite a bit of confusion and challenges around integrating into collective consciousness or society. This is quite a common phenomenon and today I will address this.
I have published episodes on collective conscio usness and Spiritual glamour, amongst others, which may be helpful in understanding what I will be discussing here today. I always link to references in the episode description.
The fact is, from a Spiritual or higher dimensional perspective, the experience of three dimensional reality is staged. It is an astonishingly complex theatrical performance in which the “actors” or cast, as-it-were, do not remember volunteering to play their parts. Parts that were clearly defined and very consciously agreed to before incarnation.
People are unable to recall the fact they are playing roles, because the process of life would not be as real if they knew it was an act. It would not be as intense, and therefore not as instructive. Life here is effectively an illusion, but one with potent meaning and purpose.
After countless lifetimes we begin to seek out more substantive and meaningful experiences. We have been through much drama and contrasting circumstances. The allure of the glamour of the third dimension begins to lose its lustre. We have realized that it cannot satisfy our deep inner yearning. That there must be more to life.
Through many lifetimes we have probably explored various spiritual disciplines and paths and had insights into, or touched, higher dimensional consciousness. Part of us knows that there is more to being than what the material realms can offer. Our quest for deeper Truth and meaning has begun and it will never be fully satisfied until we find the Source of it all. We are a Seeker.
One can be a Spiritual Seeker for many, many lifetimes. Just because we have identified that material or superficial reality does n ot satiate our deep desire for higher Truth and meaning, it doesn’t mean we have fully and wholly discarded our attachments to it. By definition if you are seeking you are dissatisfied – there is something you are looking for that you believe you do not have or that you need. There is a glass half empty quality to this state of being, in other words.
Let’s be clear, however. I would rather be a Seeker than not. The vast majority of humanity is still playing with material reality as if it is real and substantial. They are unable to differentiate between illusion and their True Nature. They are convinced the illusion is real and are very attached to it. They have a lot of learning and work yet to do, in other words.
The Seeker walks between two worlds – dipping back and forth between one and another. There are still attachments and Karma yet to be released.
This is a challenging position to be in. We won’t ultimately find what we are looking for in the material realm yet we are not fully convinced. We will search for meaning and connections in the lower dimensions but will always be disappointed. We may be betrayed, repeatedly find that love is conditional, ceaselessly and uncover flaws in all manner of human temporal expression, or be let down when purity or perfection is impossible to materialize – despite all of our incessant efforts to do just that.
The system is actually designed this way intentionally. It’s set up so that we have only one way out, one escape hatch. Of course we can take as long as we want to realize this. It could take a great many lifetimes until we let go of our beliefs and attachments that bind us to the lower dimensions. We are, and have been, exercising our free will all along, whether we are consciously aware of this or not.
That freedom of agency will never be taken from us. It is, in fact, the highest possible honour that could ever be bestowed on any being. The freedom to define our reality. It is a profound privilege. It speaks to the trust and faith our Creator has in us. To set us free with no expectations, completely, absolutely unconditionally and with no deadline. Contemplate this.
Ignorance is bliss, as the saying goes, but the Seeker is not completely ignorant. Thus they assume partial, but not absolute, authority for their being. They will experience moments of bliss and higher consciousness one moment, then fall back into the denser realms the next. Yet there is no real refuge or comfort in the lower dimensions and this back-and-forth is exhausting.
Often the life of a Seeker will be rather lonely as there are very few people that can really relate to, or even understand, their perspective. Most people naively think that achieving material success and social acceptance will solve their problems. They will advise the Seeker to be pragmatic. Get a good job, get married, have a family and so on. The Seeker knows, though, that this will never totally satisfy them. They will always feel compelled to pursue their sincere inner ambition.
It is not uncommon for Seekers to experience animosity from others. Their very being, their identity, their nature, calls into question cherished, if illusory, ideals. People can be extremely vested in their beliefs and strongly identify with them. Threatening their often fragile beliefs can be very disturbing to those who desperately cling to them.
Seekers may even manifest times of great success or pleasure but it almost certainly won’t last. This is not because the Universe is fundamentally opposed to them. Rather, it is a consequence of such temporal ambitions not being in alignment with their true heart’s desire. We cannot maintain complex structures in the physical realm without absolute conviction. If our beliefs are not being expressed with total integrity what we create is effectively just a house of cards, yet another illusion. In their Heart the Seeker knows this as well.
So they will wander – seemingly aimlessly at times – and often to the dismay of their relatives or loved ones, who may even think they are mentally ill or defective. To them, after all, the solution seems so obvious and self evident. Just get a job!
Seekers are often unusually intelligent, insightful, curious and open minded. They have degrees of wisdom that often belies their age, upbringing or education. They do, after all, have many, many incarnations under their belt. They have lived in many cultures and conditions all over this world and others. They have been both powerful and wealthy as well as poor and enslaved. As a result they are compassionate. They carry much of this in them innately whether they are consciously aware of the root of it, or not.
Fundamentally the Seeker knows it’s all facade. They are, though, not entirely, not 100%, convinced. Yet.
As long as we believe the illusion is real, even if we just have an iota of doubt about whether or not it is, we are bound to it. We are bound to Karma.
We do not realize how powerful we and our beliefs are. We are, in fact, Creator beings, constantly creating our reality with every breath. It’s probably a good thing most lack the full awareness of their powers. In immature hands that power could easily be abused.
Thus Self Mastery is elusive and much more rare than most people think. The Seeker will eventually realize the goal. It’s just a question of when.
You won’t typically hear this described in this manner. The vast majority of people are still working on more fundamental lessons. That’s fine. We all started somewhere. That is as it should be. It is important, however, for the Seeker to know their place too, that they are different for good reasons.
Everything I have articulated in this episode was shown to me very vividly and in great detail when I was in my early 20’s. I often recall it. It has not lost any clarity even after all these years. Yet I record this as a humble Seeker myself, still wandering between worlds. I am a walking, talking, living and breathing testament to choosing to not know what I know. Life is full of paradoxes.
I share this because I see Seekers in dismay. They struggle to find their place in this world and are often misunderstood by their families and loved ones. They condemn themselves for what looks like failure but is not.
To them I say: Honour your path, honour your being. You have travelled far. It was not in vain. What you have earned can never be taken from you. It is priceless. You have covered much ground. Rest if you must, there is no shame in that.
Be true to yourself and your inner voice – you will never regret it. The most important thing you will ever do is also the easiest. And that is, to remember who you are.
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